How to know what’s really important to you

Our Core Values are our underlying motivations — consciously or unconsciously they drive ALL of our decisions and actions

Milton Rokeach, value’s research psychologists, says values are:

A Netflix CEO defines it more simply — “a value is WHAT we value”

My favourite technique is this one:

1 — Data Gathering: your life is a record of your values — consciously or unconsciously our values drive our choices

Here are some questions that might help…

  • When were the best times in my life — list a few?
  • When did I feel most fulfilled?
  • When did I think — “I was born for this”?
  • What am I most proud of?
  • What can’t I live without?
  • What do I always do?
  • What makes my heart sing?
  • Who are my role models or people I admire?
  • What is my favourite quote or song lyric?

You could flip it on it’s head and ask the opposite questions eg what were the worst times of my life — but don’t get into to this for too long — I don’t want to ruin your day ;)

2 — Identify the implicit values in these answers — ask yourself

Write in the column to the right of your answers

Why was it so good or so bad — use 1 word value based answers

eg Fun, Support, Success, Respect, Contribution, Isolation, Injustice

You’ll notice the same values repeating — You should end up with a list of 7–10

3 — Now pick your top 4 most important — if you could only have 4 which would they be

eg adventure may be in your top 10 but were you ever content without it for a while?

4 — Translate your values into guiding principles: Write down

- what do I do as a result of this value?

eg Growth:

- Continuous journey of expansion and progress

- I do work that increases my knowledge and moves myself and others forward positively

- I keep learning & strive to get better and better

- I explore new places and new activities

Knowing your Core Values makes choices efficient and certain — no more “suck it see”

You may not succeed at every venture but you will enjoy the trying and be “in your flow”

…and if you need any help, just give me a call

Wishing you Well & Happy


Crisis Counsellor, Hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner

07946 526 838

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Crisis Counsellor, Clinical Hypnotherapist and EFT trainer — over 17 yrs experience helping 1000's of clients achieve positive, lasting, life changing results